We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
