Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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