DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
either way he was missing a nipple.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
