i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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