Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
