Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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