Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
