we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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