Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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