i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
