Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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