btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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