what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
