she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
