Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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