shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I look better un-naked...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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