In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
