Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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