Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
false alarm, still single
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