ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
