haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
