Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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