I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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