I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
