Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
