Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
