I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
