Betty ford says i'm here all night
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it's like iHOP with fire
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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