Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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