"it" just moved
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
