Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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