"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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