He is an equal opportunity slut.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
