So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I looked at my own cervix.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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