I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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