? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize