Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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