3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize