I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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