I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
