I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize