who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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