Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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