come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Randomize
