yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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