I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
