I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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