Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
