I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Send help, water and tortillas.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
