omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
