he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
