Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
