Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
