I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
