The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
