just come out here and I will go home with you...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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