Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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