Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
