I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
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Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
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She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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