I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
