I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
